Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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