So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
