I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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