Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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