All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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