he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you would pick up someone in the library
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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