Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
