All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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