you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
