I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
