Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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