Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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