Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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