Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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