Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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