You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
