it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
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