He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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