Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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