jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
