Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
