just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
