i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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