Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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