TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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