Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
