i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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