Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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