brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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