i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
