Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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