I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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