idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
