I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
