Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
