Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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