The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
