i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
