Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I deserve this hangover.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
