I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
