i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
