I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
