I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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