she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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