Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
