you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
