Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
