I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Alive.
So much puke
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
