our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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