I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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