Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
