All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Randomize
