I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
