Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
