the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
