So drunk its hurt
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
