I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize