um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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