Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
