I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
